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Every month has become a strange adventure for me.  You see, I’m “romantically unemployed” as a friend put it.  I am actively choosing not to work.  It’s not that I’m afraid of hard work, point of fact: I worked 12 hours nearly continuous the other day and regularly clock in 5-8 hours on my own projects, it’s that I want it to be towards my own goals and on my time.  I’m an aspiring entrepreneur and every month has become much like a tv show.  Every month is “How will mike pay his bills this month?”  And somehow, some way, I manage.  Barely.  Not easily always-although it sometimes is, not comfortably by any means and certainly not securely (I’m one medical emergency away from utter financial ruin-I have no delusions about this).  This has been occurring since… August of last year.

As most things go though, this isn’t sustainable and now thanks to past mike (DAMN YOU!) I have found the little ship that is my life on the edges of a financial tempest.  Details are toward the bottom as is a status I posted to help me do what I need to.

Some will call me dumb.  Some will call me lazy.  Some will say I acted amazingly foolishly and chalk it up to the idiocies of the young.  Certainly, I’m not above any of these judgments.  But I am living my way.  Not necessarily how I’d like, but entirely under my own steam.  By my efforts, my sword, my doings.  And that has been a cause of much joy for me.  I didn’t cow away, I didn’t flinch or shy away from my doom, I faced it full front, shoulders back and chest bared.  With the last few moments of my old life (this tempest will end the old mike and bring about an entirely new one, for better or for worse) I write this here.  I dove in, I tackled it and I tried my hardest.  If it wasn’t good enough, now I know.  And no one can take that from me, not the banks, not the financial doom nets that I set upon myself, not anyone who will aim to break me in the future.  I will know.  For sure.  And this is living to me.

Details

I owe UNO 3,600$.  I couldn’t sign up for classes this semester for that reason.  My student loans are knocking at the door, nearly 30,000$ in debt that way.  And the “don’t worry about it” phase of that is about over (6months away from classes).  In a month that time will be over unless I do something.  That is 33,600$ that is about to come due.  But I ran the numbers, my business-assuming I’m half the salesman I know I can be-could handle it.  What’s the rub?  I need at least 1,000$ to bootstrap it, 2,000$ to be comfortable, 3,000$ to actually have a good shot at making it in a month or 5,000$ in my wildest dreams of startup capital.  Assuming 1G of investment is no trouble, in two months I could be running quite a healthy little firm-able to handle my debts and provide for the classes I would need to stave off the financial demons that want their money back.

I’m intimidated by the size of this task.  But I dove in.  Worked up a timeline with key checkpoints and indicators of my success rate.  I’ll know quickly if I can make it or not.  Making it is wrought with dangers, pitfalls and failure points.  Which means it’s far more likely that I’ll fail.    But I might not.  I might make it.  And I’m willing to bet almost everything on it.  Already talked to one lender and got denied.  But I have 3 contingencies for this involving approaching other lenders, approaching a few investors, and then even just “creatively redistributing” student loan money if I can get a private lender for that.  This is the first failure point.  All else fails, then I’ll just get some kinda job and do it like a normal person.  But I have to try.  Just like flying or falling in the dark-it’s hard to tell which is occurring until you hit the ground… or don’t.

Random Status shared on my various social networks

FYI: I’m posting this to help me stick with these changes-nothing quite like social pressure.  If you see me, ask me about this to hammer it in please.

>>My goal in teaching combatives to people is to Make them believe that they can do anything.  I spose I wouldn’t be much of a teacher if I didn’t believe I could do anything.  I just ran the numbers and discovered that I set a huge, daunting obstacle for myself.  (DAMN YOU, PAST MIKE!)  One that very well could mean my absolute financial doom or my spectacular financial freedom.  One that will challenge me beyond what I think I can do, one that will force me to change nearly every habit in my life, one that if I win will make me believe I can do anything.  (sigh) Here it goes.  This is also exactly why I think the DSM-V should include “entrepreneurship induced manic-depressive bipolar disorder” if it doesn’t already.

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